There are positive emotions and painful emotions. How do we cope with those overwhelming, painful emotions as mums?
It is so hard to look after your children when you have had an emotional day. Maybe you argued with your partner or had a fall out with your friend.
It is hard to focus and keep your emotions in check. And sometimes, those emotions seep out and you begin to take them out on your children.
When that happens, you feel guilty for being upset with your children, and the cycle continues.
Emotions are how we internally react to situations and experiences.
We can experience both pleasant and unpleasant emotions. Pleasant emotions may be happiness, joy, whereas unpleasant emotions can be sadness, pain.
It is important to remember that we were created with these emotions, and there are no bad emotions. It is what we do when we feel that emotion that can cause all the trouble.
As a mum, we may try our best to protect our chidlren from seeing our unpleasant emoitons, but if we could allow them to glimpse into what it is like to be able to process these overhwelming emotions, they will learn healthy habit to work through their overhwhelming emotions too.
What if letting our children see us emotional, was an opportunity for them to learn too. Not just what to do with their overwhelming emotions, but also how to be there for someone who is experiencing these unpleasant emotions.
How do I cope with my overwhelming emotions as a mum?
1. Write a letter / an email
For some people, speaking to the person is difficult. You forget what you are going to say, or may your struggle to articulate your thoughts. By writing a letter or email, you can take your time to find the words and refine what it is you really want to say.
2. Write your emotions in your journal
Speaking to the person may not be possible, for many different reasons. But it is important to get out what you are feeling. You can write in a journal, share what it is that is going on for you. If you don’t have a journal, why not download the “My Feelings PDF”. There are prompts to help you express what is going on for you right now.
3. Speak to someone you trust about your emotions
Talking can help. Sometimes, when we speak things become clearer. It is important to find someone who you can trust with your thoughts. Someone that won’t judge you or make you feel a certain way. If you feel you have no one, why not find a counsellor that you can speak to.
4. Record a voice message
Writing is not for everyone, so why not try to record a voice message. You don’t have to send it to anyone, but speaking it out loud, taking it from inside you, to outside can be very freeing.
5. Listen to music
You can listen to a song that resonates with how you are feeling and what you are going through. Sometimes it is difficult to find the words to say, but the lyrics to the song can penetrate deep and allow you to express your thoughts in a different way.
Working through your overwhelming emotions
I would be lying if I said it was easy to do this. Honestly, the easy part is stuffing the emotions deep down into the dark empty hole, and praying that they don’t come back up.
But the reality is, they do come back up. Usually when they return, it is bigger and stronger than before.
So yes, it is painful, hard and uncomfortable to look at the emotions and work through them. The first step is being able to articulate how you are feeling. These 5 ways will help you do just that.
No more pretending you are not upset, hurting or sad. Instead, take the time to get those emotions out and work through them.